Did You Grab The Right Tool Kit?
Dear Durable Minds,
We had some successful games, but our last one was so frustrating. Nobody was happy. It seemed like everyone was either pointing fingers at our lack of success or just giving up, and we weren’t having any fun. - Danny Downer
“Pick the right tool for the job and not vise versa” - Unknown
Dear Danny Downer,
Thank you for sharing your experience. Moments like this happen to every team and every athlete, and it’s in these moments where the decision-making process matters most. The frustration you’re describing isn’t just about the scoreboard—it’s about the mindset your team is bringing into the game and into the locker room. And mindset, like skill, is something you can train.
Think of it this way: as an athlete, you are standing in front of two toolboxes.
The red toolbox is full of destructive tools—shame, blame, excuses, negativity, and giving up. These are the tools of frustration. They may feel like the natural response in the heat of the moment, but they rarely serve you well. Using these tools can weaken trust, divide teammates, and sap the joy out of the game.
Then there’s the green toolbox. Inside, you’ll find productive tools—hard work, commitment, courage, discipline, accountability, teamwork, and resilience. These tools take effort to pick up and use, especially when emotions are high. But they build something lasting. They strengthen the team, rebuild confidence, and remind athletes why they play the game in the first place. The green tools don’t erase mistakes or guarantee wins, but they ensure growth and keep the joy of competing alive.
This is the choice every athlete faces: reach for the red tools and stay stuck in frustration, or reach for the green tools and move forward with strength, positivity, and a sense of purpose.
The Green Toolbox Check:
The next time you feel frustration rising, pause and ask yourself:
“Is the tool I’m using right now helping me build or break?”
If it’s building, you’re in the green. If it’s breaking, it’s time to set that tool down and choose differently.
To make this even easier, here’s a quick checklist you can run through in the moment:
Am I blaming or am I taking responsibility?
Am I shutting down or am I showing courage to keep going?
Am I pointing out problems or am I looking for solutions?
Am I making it about me or am I supporting the team?
Final Thoughts
Every time you redirect yourself toward the green toolbox, you’re strengthening not only your game but also your team’s culture. Over time, these small choices create durable athletes who thrive even in tough moments.
Remember, frustration is temporary, but the tools you choose leave a lasting impact.
Stay durable!
